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Things I Currently Know.

I'm currently losing the battles in some senses but winning them in others. The thoughts are intrusive and trying to find reason for them often sucks and hurts even more. I wanna say it makes you feel better and good but I'd be lying. It brings this sense of equal, of balance, of okay yea I'm not the greatest but I'm also not the worst. So here goes some of the things I know right now,


  1. I miss Moose (I feel this is obvious if you know me but if ya don't, I miss my shadow)

  2. My puppy is a puppy and therefore will act like a puppy

  3. I feel really off for the first few days after Gabe goes back to work

  4. I miss Gabe

  5. I don't hate being alone, but knowing you're the only one coming home some nights is really lonely.

  6. I've still accomplished regular life tasks (except for folding laundry. fuck that noise.) even though I don't feel good right now

  7. The way I'm feeling right now won't last forever.

  8. Crockpot lasagna with an extra cheese layer is the best winter food.

  9. Rambling away on here makes me feel something that isn't shitty

The rambles will make sense to some and look like a foreign language to others. Writing makes me feel less lonely in the same way reading is a safe haven for some. In saying that, I hope everyone someday finds that thing that really brings them peace.


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